"Hello, you've reached Kantera. If this is a medical emergency, please hang up and call a hospital. Otherwise, please leave your message after the tone."
[ She's acutely aware that the timing here is Very Suspect. And the thing is that it's not... not about the timing. She feels rejected because of what she is, however much she understands it, and then found someone who specifically likes her because of what she is. ]
Someone is interested in a similar relationship to what I had with Causality. [ Mistress/Servant, essentially. ] More than interested. And it's not something I feel I can turn away -- not just that, this is something I need. [ Right now, especially. ]
I assume it won't be a problem since it wasn't before, but I wanted you to know. He might come over sometimes, so... [ Rosen is pretty blatant about worshipping her, and she has no idea how much of that will be written on his face. Or hers. ]
[ Saya feels like he agreed too easily. That she's not saying enough, because maybe he's assuming this other person is like Causality in terms of being emotionally stunted, and that is certainly not the case. That if he understood how close they got and how quickly, he might hesitate. ]
[ In the end, she decides to just take his assent. If things get more blatantly romantic, she'll revisit it. She isn't great with determining where one side of her ends and the other begins, but surely it'll be fine? ]
[ She gives him a kiss on the head. ] Thank you. I'm sorry to bring it up now, I just didn't want to seem like I'm hiding anything.
I know that I don't know. ...But, I have as long a life as you do, potentially? So even if I don't figure something out in time - I'll keep trying so that you don't have to go through it again. Even if you've already forgotten me.
[ It's not that he said something wrong. It's that she doesn't see herself saying anything right if she tries to voice what's going on for her. She's so terrible with words. ]
I said I didn't want to spend the time we have in mourning. I don't. I just... can't seem to stop.
[ If she were the type to be more charitable to herself she'd say that she's had a few days to get used to this and he's had however long this was brewing before he told her, but she's not that type. ]
[ She nods in such a way that's it's clear she doesn't really buy that. ]
Did you know you felt this way when you asked to get married? [ He had his memories by then, right? This is her roundabout way of asking if they did the right thing. ]
[ And now she's wondering why he didn't think this information was important for her to know before she agreed to a commitment that, as far as she was concerned, was for life. ]
Was it that you didn't know how to tell me beforehand?
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That's good. Seems like a lot of us were eager to get out there and look around.
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Did you enjoy yourself out there? I'm sure those skeletons were no match for you.
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Um... speaking of not being on my own... [ awkward segue is awkward but she's not trying to lose her nerve. ]
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[This could lead into a few different things, so he waits for her to continue.]
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Someone is interested in a similar relationship to what I had with Causality. [ Mistress/Servant, essentially. ] More than interested. And it's not something I feel I can turn away -- not just that, this is something I need. [ Right now, especially. ]
I assume it won't be a problem since it wasn't before, but I wanted you to know. He might come over sometimes, so... [ Rosen is pretty blatant about worshipping her, and she has no idea how much of that will be written on his face. Or hers. ]
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I'll offer him tea if he hangs around.
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[ In the end, she decides to just take his assent. If things get more blatantly romantic, she'll revisit it. She isn't great with determining where one side of her ends and the other begins, but surely it'll be fine? ]
[ She gives him a kiss on the head. ] Thank you. I'm sorry to bring it up now, I just didn't want to seem like I'm hiding anything.
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[That will never change, no matter what.]
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I love you for it.
...It seems like there's always something hard, huh? We need a vacation.
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[A second honeymoon, without that worry hanging over it.]
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[ He can probably feel her open her mouth to say something a few times before she ends up letting it hang. ]
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[He believes it, at least.]
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...You have no idea how many lifetimes I've been trying to stop it.
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[That part is the easy part.]
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If it's hurting you to stay with me, then... maybe... [ A bit of a non-sequitur sure, but it's all she can think about. ]
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It isn't hurting now. You can't send me away even if you try.
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[ Possibly unspoken is: but it's hurting me. She suspects it might hurt her more to let him go, but... ]
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[He can't know what he said wrong unless she talks to him.]
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-- I'm sorry. I'm making everything worse.
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You have nothing to apologize for, my dear. You've done nothing wrong.
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[ If she were the type to be more charitable to herself she'd say that she's had a few days to get used to this and he's had however long this was brewing before he told her, but she's not that type. ]
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Did you know you felt this way when you asked to get married? [ He had his memories by then, right? This is her roundabout way of asking if they did the right thing. ]
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Was it that you didn't know how to tell me beforehand?
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