happydreamed | Seasons: IC Contact/Overflow

I know it has risks. Believe me, I know. I've also started gathering people who are able to -- to handle me, if things go bad. I know things could go wrong in a million different ways. [ It's obvious what she's most worried about, though. ]

I have no choice but to be the test subject for this, so it's very possible. I'm willing to take the risks. And of course I'll forgive you if anything happens. Everyone will have tried their best, it won't be anyone's fault.

Would you forgive yourself?

-'Twill be difficult. But - I want badly enough to protect your happiness that even my guilt seems a lesser thing by comparison.

[And she knows how bad his guilt problems are.]

Your happiness, too. And that of others.

[ The way she says others invokes a certain feeling, like she has specific people in mind. So many that are already mourning her, or acting as though she'll be something they have to survive, or telling her not to get her hopes up. Really it's far more rare thing for someone to be sure and determined. ]

Part of my worry about you participating is your being there when the experiments happen. The preparation work is one matter, but. Watching whatever happens, can you handle that? Even if it means I go out of control and someone has to... [ kill her, or try to. ] Or if it means the medicine puts me into hibernation early?

If you go out of control... I know 'tis what you requested, but I would rather not have to see you die.

[It feels selfish to even say that, even though 'not wanting to see your wife get killed' is a fairly reasonable emotion.]

And if I were there, you would likely just worry more about my reaction, and I don't wish to cause you more stress than necessary. So... I don't believe I should watch.

[ She lets out a breath, relieved beyond measure. ] I agree.

[ Which means they'll have to say their goodbyes before she goes in, Just In Case. She knows waiting sucks, but some things suck more. ]

I think that's best. Yuri will be there, he can keep you updated. I'm going to try and keep Venti away too, and Lumine I'll ask to stay with him, but we'll see how successful I am.

There are others who I'd rather not have to watch either, but unfortunately I need them.

I can certainly find a way to get Venti and Lumine out of the house. Venti may be stubborn out of worry for you, but I know he won't wish to distress you more.

[It's hard not being there to help if something goes wrong - but Saya choice comes first, here.]

Maybe if you explain it to him, he'll agree. If he argues with me on it I'll probably cave. And I wouldn't want him to feel like he has to expose who he is to everyone there if I do go out of control.

...I have a terrible feeling that's what will happen. I can't explain why, but it's more than a fear. I feel certain of it.

...You have contingencies for that. You won't be allowed to harm anyone even if that happens.

[But he gives her a reassuring squeeze regardless, knowing his words can only do o much.]

I know. [ But still, she worries. She worries that she's not killable here, and if that's the case how would she be reset? Would she be like that until her hibernation? What would come out the other side? ]

I keep telling myself it's worth the try, but...

[ Well. ]

It is worth it. You deserve to be able to spend your days with your loved ones and not forget the memories you've made. That's why so many people are so eager to help you.

I keep telling myself that. But what I've done, all this time and energy from people, it feels like I'm asking too much. That there's bound to be a backlash.

I don't think anyone would let me give up at this point, so there's that.

We would do even more for you if only we could. I'm confident all your friends would say the same. -And no, giving up is not something we'll accept.

[ She deeply wants to argue, but it doesn't seem right to. As she said, it's a lot of people's happiness at stake, not just her own. ]

Everyone is doing enough. The last thing I want is for it to take over people's lives more than it has.

That's part of why I'll be out on the quests myself. I wouldn't feel right asking others to go do those dangerous things for me. It'll take me away from home even more than I am -- which I hate, of course, but the phones seem to work fine out there at least.

As long as you won't be alone out there - I can hardly criticize you for making sure your important people are safe.

[It takes her away from home, but it's important.]

I couldn't be alone if I wanted to. Certain people would have something to say about it.

[ Important People will be on the quests with her too, just... ones she's sure can handle it. She loves her husband dearly but a fighter he isn't, plus she'd be worried the whole time. ]

As they should be. I can only offer to heal them when they return, but I'll be certain to do so to the very best of my ability.

[He's a squishy mage and he knows it, but at least he can do a little to keep them safe, if only after the fact.]

I'm sure everyone will appreciate that.

Me, I'll need something a bit different, but I have a feeling you'll be okay with it. [ It'll probably help him if she wants to spend time fawning over each other (and get a good drink of his blood). ]

I'm always happy to offer you anything and everything, my dear.

[But blood and cuddling is especially welcome.]

Seasons: IC Contact/Overflow

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